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[OC] Brady CLUTCH on 3rd Down, Godwin and Gronk Dominate Screens, Inside Fades Everywhere! -- NFCCG Offensive Review

Super Bowl! What a game, what a season. u/HazelnitBoyyy and I reviewed the offensive snaps on the all-22, and his insight is sprinkled throughout this post.
 
Also, while this is a review of the pass game… err... offense, this win doesn’t happen without a great game from the defense. Shoutout to Todd Bowles!
 
For the most part, the pass game, in both execution and design, has been excellent. Brady's great first half resulted in a cumulatively great game. However, while the Bucs have managed to win, I can't overstate how much of a hole the coaches are digging themselves into with the run game on 1st down. The Bucs are running poorly and often. Further, they're willingly running into loaded boxes. The Bucs weren’t even able to run efficiently when facing light boxes in the Divisional Round against the Saints. Excluding when there were fewer than two minutes remaining in either half, the Bucs called 14 first down runs and seven first down passes against the Packers.
 
For reference, looking at only neutral situations (where win probability is between 20% and 80% and when there are more than two minutes remaining in either half), the Bucs first down pass frequencies have been as follows:
 
 
Possession 1
 
3-4
 
3-9
 
2-7
 
3-7
 
Drive result: TD
 
Possession 2
 
2-6
 
3-13
 
2-10
 
3-10
 
Drive result: punt
 
Possession 3
 
3-9
 
 
1-10
 
Drive result: TD
 
Possession 4
 
1-10
 
3-2
 
Drive result: punt
 
Possession 5 (0:28 remaining in Q2)
 
1-10
 
2-4
 
4-4
 
1-10
 
Drive result: TD
 
Halftime
 
Possession 6
 
1-Goal
 
Drive result: TD
 
Possession 7
 
2-10
 
Drive result: turnover
 
Possession 8
 
2-8
 
3-8
 
2-11
 
Drive result: turnover
 
Possession 9
 
3-2
 
Drive result: turnover
 
Possession 10
 
2-7
 
2-11
 
3-8
 
Drive result: FG
 
Possession 11 (2:02 remaining in Q4)
 
1-10
 
The Packers intentionally get called for encroachment to create a 1st down instead of a 2nd & 1. In my opinion, the Bucs should have declined the penalty
 
3-4
 
3-5
 
I can’t believe the Bucs are going to the Super Bowl! I still don’t think they’ve put together four quarters of great defensive and offensive football. If they do it against the Chiefs, I absolutely think the Bucs can win. But, it’s going to require a mistake-free game with excellent preparation and play calling.
 
What do you guys think? Feel free to drop any thoughts, comments, or questions regarding the analysis or the game as a whole!
submitted by HossYJuke to buccaneers [link] [comments]

The Duxbury Chronicles "The Dumpster"

The Duxbury Chronicles
https://i.redd.it/itwruj5d8ak51.gif
“Rain fell on the roofs of the just and the unjust, the saints and the sinners, those who knew peace and those in torment, and tomorrow began at a dark hour.”
- Robert R McCammon, "Mine"
August 6th, 1982 was a day in Duxbury that no one liked to talk about. No one who is still around who remembers it anyway. It had been a hot one. Hot, humid, and most of all, wet. It had been that way all summer.
“Unnatural.” The old timers were wont to say.
By mid-summer rainfall all along the East coast had hit records not seen since the 20's. The nearby swamps and rivers had deepened. Dark, murky water encroaching onto lands normally dry. The Duxbury Bogs, and the North Hill Marsh Sanctuary in particular had been cause for concern.
By mid-July (Courtesy of the Bogs) Pilgrim's Highway had been flooded over. Blocking Mayflower Street all the way down passed East Street. Island Creek Pond, and the North Hill Sanctuary had joined forces. Turning the lands that divided them into one giant wilderness of muck, and water.
And by the end of July it looked like Cranberry Bog, and Pine Lake were on the verge of rising up high enough to join the other two. And submerge the whole damn area. It had been an ugly business already.
Homes in and around Pettibush Lane, Maple Pond Lane, and Evergreen Street had already been lost to flooding. And there had even been talk last weekend during the Duxbury Town Hall Council Meeting of the possible necessary evacuation of Tinker's Ledge Road if the rains kept up.
That had gotten people buggin'. Markus McDuff had leapt up, and shouted with the vigor of a man half his age. Declaring that “They'd have to drag his dead body” off his Apple Farm if they came to evacuate him.
There had been a grasshopper boom as well. Everyone said it was because of all the rain. The population thickened as one got further from the busier streets. Certain sections of the Whiton Woods were so thick with the little green insects that it was hard to describe in words.
One had to “see it, to believe it”. On some of the trails every step one took would literally be accompanied by a multitude of tiny springy sounds. As the brainless bugs leapt away from whatever giant passed them by.
They hadn't been the only insects to flourish in the unusually wet weather. The Cicadas had come out in force for the season as well. And they sang their summer songs with an unprecedented fervor. Every evening around dusk, they'd alight in the branches of the trees and chirp up at the brilliant shifting purple, and orange canvas in the sky.
In the trees all along Island Creek the insects seemed to be especially prevalent. There were certain sections of the creek where one would have to practically shout to be heard over the buzzing cacophony. It was, needless to say, not a good season for insectophobes.
Despite all the climate issues the “tourist” season (small as it was) did not seem to really suffer. Which had been quite a relief to the local business owners. And ever since August started it hadn't rained. As a result the general mood around town was brighter than usual.
But on this early afternoon, one resident's mood was especially chipper. Deputy Robert Maxwell was walking down Harrison street with a particular “pep” in his step. That was because he had just scored a dyno date with the town Betty!
A bodacious babe by the name of Mary Barbadino. She'd been the morning waitress at Alice's Restaurant for going on three years now. Bob had grown up in Duxbury, and had always liked Alice's. But it had become his pre-shift breakfast spot pretty much every day since he'd first laid eyes on Mary in that tight-fitting waitress uniform. Even on his days off.
He still couldn't believe his luck! Bob, at the ripe old age of thirty seven, was not exactly known for being a lady's man. He wasn't some hoser or anything. But he was no primo stud either.
And she'd approached him! He’d known that Mary had broken up with her boyfriend Marcus Greene four months prior. But he had never had the cajones to do anything about it.
The situation between Mary and Marcus was like a badly written movie. Marcus and his posse were the local tough guys. He and his crew always seemed to be getting into trouble. Be it a fight at the local bar, or a “domestic dispute” at one of their biker parties.
If it was true that in life everyone had a role to play. Then it was Marcus's destiny to be an asshole. That's not what had stopped him from making a move on Mary however. Bob was a Roller after all. He'd just been too chicken.
So this morning when Mary had come over with a cup of coffee in hand and slid into the empty seat across the table from him, he'd been struck speechless for a few seconds. The conversation had been quick, and direct. Mary talking, and Bob mostly nodding, and trying to keep his mouth from hanging open.
She'd wanted to know if he was interested in catching a movie after her shift. Bob would have watched the bunkest movie in the world with Mary. He'd quickly agreed, and the two had made plans to meet when she got off at five.
The Deputy made it to the corner, and took a right onto Washington Street. He was headed to Barry's Meats. The local butcher shop. Barry was legendary in the region for his kielbasa. And tonight after whatever movie they ended up seeing, he was going to surprise Mary with a better meal than Alice's had ever put on a plate!
He walked briskly. Passing Beaver Brook Lane, and making a mental note to stop at Snug Harbor Wine on his way back home. It was nearly 12:30, which gave him approximately four and a half hours to get dinner made, get dressed, and be back at Alice's.
He’d originally been scheduled to be on duty until six. And had agreed to meet Mary without giving it a second thought. After realizing his error, he'd been worried that the “boss man” wouldn't be accommodating to his sudden plans. But after he made it back to the Station, Sheriff Copper had been all to happy to give him the night off.
In truth Copper at first been as incredulous as Bob had initially been. But the Sheriff was a good (if not gruff) man. And with a hearty laugh had granted his request. Giving him a hard pat on the back, and leaving him with the wise words – “Happy hunting son!”, as he had walked out through the Station doors.
He swiftly passed by a group of children playing in Washington Park. Off in the distance a baseball game was going on. He vaguely remembered seeing a flyer earlier in the week stating that the Duxbury Dragons would be playing their first game of the season today.
Across the street loomed the Saint John's Evangelist Church. The ancient stone structure cast a long shadow across the street. Bob only gave it a cursory glance as he passed it by.
He was not a religious man. Though his Mother regularly attended. In truth the place had always kind of creeped him out.
He looked around. He didn't see the local Pastor, Father John anywhere. Which he ironically thanked God for. The short fat man was always lurking about somewhere in town. Always looking to “add to the flock” as he put it.
“Lurking.” No. That wasn't the right word for it. For all their brief encounters, and by all accounts Father John was a pleasant man. Known for his charity work, and volunteering at the local soup kitchen in fact. He felt like a dick for having the thought in the first place, and quickly pushed it out of his mind.
By the time he had crossed Freeman Place, and was walking alongside the monolithic structure of the Hudson Bank; His thoughts had once again returned to Mary, and what exactly he'd done to make this morning so different than all the countless others. He glanced to the left. Looking at his wavy reflection as he passed by the floor-to-ceiling windows of the massive building.
Well, he had started working out. In fact in the last two months he'd lost almost twenty pounds! A big part of that was the change up in his diet.
Egg whites and coffee for breakfast, instead of pancakes. Salad for lunch instead of a burger. Come to think of it. Hadn't Mary been the one to first suggest his change up in breakfast?
Or maybe it was his fresh new 'stache. At first he'd been hesitant to try and grow one. Stylized facial hair had never been his thing. But he quickly realized that it was totally choice. His mom said he looked like Tom Selleck...
Bob was enwrapped in these thoughts as he reached the corner. He wasn't looking in any particular direction. And only half heard the quick, panicked steps. Just before someone came sprinting around the other side of the building, and collided straight into him.
The Deputy was knocked off his feet. Landing hard on his back. He managed to keep his head from bouncing off the pavement. But for a few seconds he saw stars anyway.
“Bab!” He recognized Boston George's voice. He sat up, and attempted to bring the man into focus.
“Oh Babby thank Gad it's you!”
Bob began to slowly climb to his feet. But the skinny forty-something man was faster. He practically leapt up, and dashed over to the Deputy. Offering him a hand, and helping him to stand.
“We got a real situation here Babby!” The man was saying. His eyes darting around frantically. In that moment he looked like a rabbit that had just escaped a wolf.
Georgey McCabe, or “Boston George” as he was known by the locals, had gotten his name because of his heavy accent. And because well... He was from Boston. Which could be quite a big deal in some circles within such a small town.
He was a “born, and bread Irishmen of the Big City on a Hill”, as he was wont to say. Bob had never been, but he imagined that Georgey was a pretty accurate representation of the average Bostonian.
Boston George had moved to Duxbury from Beantown three years prior. He always seemed to have a lot of money. Though no one knew exactly what it was that he did.
He drove a candy apple red BMW M1. Almost always with the top down. Even in winter. Anywhere he went with it he drove like a man on his way to save the world.
Georgey had accumulated quite an impressive pile of tickets and citations since coming to Duxbury. But he always had the money to pay off his fines, and so had remained on the road.
“For now.” Sheriff Copper had said to Bob one night at the station.
Copper didn't like Boston George. Though Georgey seemed oblivious to the fact. He kept speeding. And the Duxbury Police Department kept profiting off his “stunt man” antics.
Bob had never ticketed Georgey personally however. He and the Irishmen had become some-time poker buddies shortly after his arrival. The Deputy liked to gamble once in a while. Georgey loved it. And the man had one hell of a poker face.
Over the last two years he'd taken far more of Bob's money than Bob had his. That was for sure. The man also liked to sometimes go out “day drinking” as he put it. And as he took in George's disheveled appearance, he began to suspect that was exactly what the man's afternoon activities had consisted of thus far.
The thinning hair on his head stuck out in tufts pointing in all directions. His Aloha shirt was only half tucked into his shorts. Bob realized that the man was also missing one of his flip-flops.
But there was a distinct panic in Georgey's eyes. A sort of wild terror that gave him pause. The man was talking he realized. Thickly accented words flowing out of his mouth a mile a minute. Though he had no idea what he'd been saying.
“Take a red Georgey!” Bob shouted, raising his hand in a silencing gesture as he did.
George fell quiet. For a few seconds all that could be heard was the chirping birds, and George's ragged breathing.
“What. Is the problem?” He didn't have time for this.
“There's-...” George gulped in a lungful of air. Trying to steady his voice. “There's some kind of manstah in the dampsta behind Bahn’s Maket. And I think it got Old Man Pete!”
“What?” Bob asked. Truly at a loss.
“Oh for Gad's sake Bab! I'm tellin' you that there's something in the damn dampsta behind Bahn's Maket! And I think it got Pete!” The man was quickly becoming hysterical.
“Okay. Okay.” Bob said. Raising his hand once again in a placating gesture. “So tell me what happened.”
“I was sittin' outside Lux Cafe. Out in one of the chairs on the patio. Just having a drink ya'know?”
At this Bob quirked an eyebrow. Georgey didn't seem to notice.
“Anyways, so I'm sittin' there out on the patio when I see Old Man Pete come out of his store, and go around to the back alley with a bag full of trash.”
Peter Barne's was the elderly owner of Barne's Market. The local Grocery Co-op. Pete was in his seventies, but had moved like a man half is age up until his wife Edna had passed last winter.
Since then Pete had developed a noticeable stoop in his stance. Now he walked with slow, pained movements. These days he seemed to look at the ground more than anything else.
In truth it pained the Deputy to see the old man slowly fall apart. Bob had known Pete since he'd been just a boy. He'd been known as “Old Man Pete” even back then. But in those days he’d sported a full head of gray hair.
“-So like after five minutes go by.” Boston George was saying. “I notice that Petey hasn't come back out from the alleyway yet. So I stat worrying that the poor old bugger's hurt himself or something ya'know? So I get up, and I go across the street to go check on him.”
Bob knew the area George was referring to well. It was called East Cove Plaza, and was consequently the only spot on Surplus Road that had any businesses on it. Four to be exact.
All located around one square block. Barnes Market, and the Red Herring Diner on one side of the street. East Bay Salon, and Lux Lounge on the other.
Up until a year, and a half ago there had only been three businesses. But Lux had opened up next to East Bay. It was this “new age” hippie cafe/bar. It was owned by this unbelievably sexy red-headed fox named Gretta Thompson.
She'd moved to Duxbury about two years ago. And after about six months had opened up shop. That was all he really knew about her. He'd never been in the bar. Though it had simultaneously become a hit with the younger locals, and an endless source of gossip for the elders.
“So what did you find when you went to go check on him?” Bob asked. Feeling a faint sense of apprehension as he did so.
“That's the thing Bab.” George said in a hushed tone. “There wasn't no one back there when I got up there. Just an empty alleyway with the dampstah in the back.”
“But I got this real weird feelin' Bab. This real weird feelin' that Old Man Pete was in that dampstah.” Georgey continued.
Bob already did not like where this was headed. Though admittedly he had absolutely no freaking idea where this was headed.
“So I get to like about ten feet away from the dampstah, and somethin's telling me. Somethin's telling me not to get any closer. So I call out Pete's name. Feeling a bit silly as I do, mind you.”
Bob smirked despite himself. Yes. Silly was one word for it.
“And just as I say his name there comes the sound of trash slammin' around. And I mean a loud sound! And the dampstah...” George trailed off as he gave a shudder. “The dampstah Bab... It jerked towards me!”
Bob raised an eyebrow.
“The dumpster jerked towards you?” The words just didn't sound right.
“Yeah Bab. And I mean like three *freakin*' feet!”
“So what did you do?”
At this George looked incredulous.
“What did I do?! I fackin' ran for my damn life! That's what I did Bab!”
“Okay. Okay.” Bob said. Raising his hands once again. “Let's go.”
“Go where?”
“Back to Barnes Market.”
“Back?”
“Yes.” He said. Pinching his nose. “Back to the Market.”
“But-.”
“Common Georgey.” Bob cut him off, and started walking...
Five minutes later they were moving down Surplus Road. Almost halfway to their destination. Up ahead loomed the wooden bridge that went over Bluefish River. The raging waters echoing off the surrounding trees that bordered the street on both sides.
Bob had kept up a brisk pace. Partly because he was worried for Old Man Pete. And partly because of his rapidly shrinking timetable. George to his credit, had kept up.
“Are you sure you don't want to call for backup Babby?” He half shouted over the thundering river, just as their feet met weather worn wood.
Bob glanced down at the rushing waters of the Bluefish as they clunked along. The river was normally more than a dozen feet below the bridge. On this day however was half that. If it got any higher, the city would have to close off the bridge.
“Not quite yet George.” He shouted back. “I think I'd like to check things out for myself before I go and do that.”
After another moment they were across the river and back on asphalt. With each step the thundering of the Bluefish faded.
Bob looked up at the looming trees on either side of them. The White Pines had grown more full, and lush than ever before. Bob gazed off into the shadows of the surrounding forest.
There was pretty much nothing for about the next quarter mile. Nothing but trees, and encroaching swamp water that is. Pretty much everything West of Tremont Street was flooded.
But thankfully the four businesses that made up East Cove Plaza had thus far been spared from the weather. Being located about a half mile East of Tremont, on the corner where Reynolds Way crossed Surplus.
As they walked, Bob reflected on the dumpster in question. It was a fifteen yarder if he recalled correctly. Situated between Barne's Market, and the Red Herring for the convenience of both businesses. With all the flooding it really wouldn't be too outlandish if a bear, or some other critter had made it's way down and jumped in looking for food.
They came to a flooded part in the road just as they hit the intersection of South Station Street. The water stretching all the way to the woods on both the right, and left. They wordlessly walked to the right.
Entering the edge of the woods, they used the rocks, and roots to keep their feet as dry as possible, as they made their way. The water stretched on down the street for a good twenty feet before relinquishing it's hold on the road.
Soon the surrounding forest gave way once again to a suburban sprawl. Up ahead in the distance stood East Cove Plaza. He felt an inexplicable twinge of apprehension at the sight of the buildings. And for about a second, he really did want to call for back up.
But what would he tell dispatch? Boston George thinks that there's a monster in the dumpster behind Barne's Market? Yeah. That would go over well.
After another moment of walking they had reached the front entrance of Barne's. The “now open” sign still hung in the window. Bob opened the door, and stepped inside. They were greeted by the refreshing coolness of the air-conditioned store.
“Mister Barnes?” Bob called out.
No answer. Save for the soft hum of the air-conditioning unit. Bob walked deeper into the store. Swiveling his head this way, and that, as he continued moving down one of the aisles.
“Pete?”
Again no answer. This wasn't good. Something was up.
“I'm tellin' ya he's not in here Babby.” Boston George said in a hushed tone from behind.
“Officer Maxwell?” Came a voice from the back of the store.
Both men turned to see Pete's nephew Doug Jenkins emerge from the back storage room. Doug was in his forties. He seemed to possess an endless supply of plaid shirts, and blue jeans that he wore no matter how high the temperature was. A nice guy. Though a bit slow.
“Hey Doug.” Bob said, with a wave. “I was just looking for Pete. Have you seen him?”
At this Doug shook his head.
“I was supposed to meet him here. We're going down to the dinner at Saint John's tonight. But I can't find him Bob.”
That last part carried with it a tone of worry.
“Don't worry Duggy.” Bob managed a smile. “We'll find him. I'm going to take a look around outside. Why don't you stay here in case he shows back up?”
Duggy nodded.
“Okay.” He said.
“Cool beans. Alright, me and Georgey here are gonna take a look around back. We'll meet you back here in ten minutes if we don't find him.”
And with that George, and Bob turned and walked back out. The sticky summer heat practically slammed into them as they stepped through the doorway. Together they walked in silence to the entrance of the alleyway.
They rounded the corner, and just stood there for a moment. The area was empty, save for the hulking form of the dumpster that stood in the back. It was a big, ugly thing. Standing about six feet high. And yeah. It was a fifteen yarder.
“There's no way Pete fell in there.” Bob thought to himself as he scrutinized the hunk of metal.
There was something off about it though. But he couldn't quite put his finger on what. At first glance it appeared the same as it always had.
It was just as rusty, and weather worn as ever. Still the same dirty green color, with the words "Patterson Waste Disposal" written in big white letters on it's beat up exterior. He was pretty sure that Boston George was right though. The Dumpster seemed like it was farther from the back wall than normal.
Maybe George had been partially correct. Perhaps some bear or something had wondered down and climbed in looking for food. Again considering the flooding it wasn't outside of the realm of possibility. After all the wildlife was known to wander into town from time, to time.
Bob moved cautiously forward and then stopped when he was about fifteen feet away. Some vague, primal instinct warning him not to get any closer.
He stood there in silence for a moment. Listening for any sign of movement from within the rusty metal structure. Nothing. Not a sound. He straightened, and let out a sigh. Jesus. He was being ridiculous.
Boston George was just buzzed. Pete Barnes had just gone out on some sudden errand, and forgotten to lock up. Yeah, that was it. He started to turn back to George when he noticed the shoe.
It was just lying there about three feet in front of the dumpster. It was black. That was about all he could tell from this distance.
But he knew. He just knew that it was a black Penny Loafer. And there was only one guy around here who sported those kind of kicks.
“Mister Barnes?” Bob called out toward the dumpster. Knowing full well how ridiculous he would look to his peers in that moment. He received no reply.
He took a few more cautious steps forward. Calling out again. Once again being answered with silence.
God what if he had fallen in?! As impossible as it seemed. What if Barnes had fallen in, and was lying broken and bleeding, right now, as he stood there like an idiot?!
“What's goin' on fellas?”
A voice suddenly asked from behind, causing both men to jump. Bob turned around only to see Christie Villarmarin's Pug like face. Christie was the “owner” of East Bay Salon.
What that really meant was that her husband, District Circuit Court Judge Troy Villarmarin; Had bought his incredibly unpleasant wife a business. So as to keep her out of his hair. And quite literally in someone else's.
“Everything alright Officer Maxwell?” She asked innocently.
Bob didn't really dislike people as a rule of thumb. It was not in his nature. But *God Damn* if Christie just didn't naturally piss him off.
She was one of the town gossip “ring leader's”. As his mother always put it. Christie had an affinity for other people's business. Her Salon only amplified her powers. Bob noticed a few of Christie's customers/cronies had gathered on the sidewalk in front of the Salon, and were watching their conversation with rapt attention.
And God Dammit if he didn't have time for this! It was going on 1:15 and he hadn't even made it down to Barry's yet! Christie was a shark, circling a piece of meat on a hook. But he wasn't going to give her one bite.
“Yes ma’am.” Bob said. Beaming. “We're just looking for Old Ma- Mister Barnes. I think he may have stepped out and forgotten to lock up.”
“Oh.” Was all Christie said. Mirroring the Deputy's smile right back at him.
For a moment the two just stood there, beaming their smiles at one another. Boston George looked back and forth between the two of them. Lifting an eyebrow in confusion at their “smile duel”.
“Why good afternoon everyone!”
The three turned to see Father John, standing with Sheriff Copper and Deputy David Quimby. The Priest was dressed in his usual black underwrap. He was carrying a cake with pink frosting in a big tupperware. The short, balding , round man wore his usual warm toothy grin.
“Bobby!” The Sheriff said in greeting, and began walking up.
“Great.” Bob thought.
Copper nodded at Christie.
“Ma’am.”
“Sheriff.” Christie smiled. This time the expression was genuine though.
Copper reached Bob and gave him a clap on the back.
“Don't tell me you got stood up?!” He said. Letting out a great bellowing laugh as he did.
“No Sheriff I-.”
“I'm just teasin' you Bobby.” Copper cut him off. “Ol' Duggy told me about Mister Barnes.”
Bob noticed Doug poking his head around the corner.
“I told the Sheriff you was looking for Pete.” He said.
“Thanks Doug.” Bob replied.
“Me and the boys here were just on our way down to get ready for the Church Cookout tonight.” Copper said with a grin.
He turned to face the others.
“Now this right here is a shining example of an outstanding Officer of the Law. Even off duty, right before a big date no less, we find Bobby here still ensuring the safety of our citizens.” He laughed once again. His big belly bouncing up, and down.
“A date?” Christie quirked an eyebrow at this.
“Shit.” Bob thought.
“Yes Deputy Maxwell.” Father John cut. Smiling up at Bob, who stood a full head taller than the man.
“You truly are a good man, aren't you? You know you are always welcome in God's house my son. Perhaps tonight you, and you're lady friend might stop by, and partake in the festivities?”
“Th- Thank you Father. We just might do that.” Bob lied.
“Tell ya' what Bobby.” Copper said. “Why don't you go run along, and let me handle finding Mister Barnes?”
Bob let out a sigh of relief.
“Thanks Sheriff. I owe you one.”
The Sheriff waved this off with a grin.
“Don't mention it Bobby. But before you go, do you have any leads?”
“Leads?” Bob asked, not understanding.
Copper laughed.
“Yeah ya'know?! Like any idea where Barnes might have got off to?”
Just then there came a brief, faint echo of shifting trash from within the big green dumpster behind them. Everyone turned.
“I don't know. But I noticed a shoe that looks like one of his beside the dumpster.”
“Um. So did you take a look?” Quimby asked.
Deputy David Quimby could have passed for Larry Wilcox's twin. He acted like it to. The all American high school football hero, turned cop. Every day on the job you'd think that Quimby was acting out an episode of Chip's Patrol.
The man was wearing his pump-action Mossberg 590 strapped to his back. Though of course he didn't need it. The Deputy almost always had the weapon on him. He thought in made him look tough. And in truth it really did help him get laid.
“I actually just got here a minute before you did.” He answered. “I was about to look. But George said that he thought there was some kind of animal in the dumpster. So I was... Assessing the situation before approaching.”
“Hah!” Quimby exclaimed in a clearly fake laugh. Slapping a hand across one knee. “Ya'll are scared of a racoon in a dumpster?!”
“It ain't no racoon Officer Quimby.” Boston George replied in a foreboding tone.
Christie Ackerman huffed.
Bob just ground his teeth. Partly because he couldn't think of an adequate retort. But mostly because the answer might very well be “yes”.
That's when Bob realized how quiet in had gotten. The near constant chirping of chickadees was suddenly absent. He tried to remember if he'd heard any birds when he'd first gotten to the neighborhood.
“Don't none of ya'll worry you're pretty little head's off.” Sheriff Copper said as he began walking down the alleyway. “The Sheriff's on the jo– Oh what in the Hell?”
The Sheriff looked over the other's shoulders. Bob turned. The small group of onlookers from the salon had been joined by a few curious younger folks from the cafe. They were now gathered in the middle of the road watching them.
“Alright!” The Sheriff shouted toward the street. “There ain't nothin' to see here people! We're just havin' a conversation, and ya'll are wastin' your time if you're hoping for some action.”
“And since ya'll are grown up's I don't think that I have to lecture you on how dangerous it is to be standing in the middle of the road. Now I suggest that ya'll git!”
A couple people shuffled their feet. But no one really moved. The Sheriff huffed, and turned back around to face the dumpster.
“Fine.” He said. And began walking.
“Sheriff.” Father John said. And Copper paused. “I'd be careful. The woods, and swamps are not far away. And there's no telling what may have crawled out of the bogs this time of year.”
The Sheriff smiled.
“Awe Father, you're concern for my well being is truly touching. But I'm a big strong man, and think I can handle some little woodland critter.” He winked, and continued moving forward.
Copper walked up to the dumpster while the others watched with trepidation. Everyone except Quimby. He was standing there with his hands on his hips. Smiling ear to ear. No doubt thinking about how he was going to tell everyone at the Station about Bob's newfound dumpster phobia.
The Sheriff made it to within a foot of the dumpster and looked in. Nothing happened. He turned around to face the others. A big shit-eating "I'm better than you grin" plastered on his face.
"Ya'see fellas." he said. "There ain't nothing to be afraid of."
"Are ya' sure sheriff?" Boston George asked hesitantly.
Copper shrugged, and turned back around. Stepping up to the lip of the dumpster, he stood on his tip-toes to get a better look.
"Whatever animal it was prob-." The Sheriff's words caught in his throat and his body froze up like a dear in headlights.
"Jesus, Mary, and Jose-!" Copper's words were cut short as the two hundred and thirty pound man was violently ripped off his feet. Simultaneously there came a small explosion of trash. Garbage whizzed by, and Copper's uniform billowed as if caught in a strong gust of wind.
The big man went up, and over the edge. Disappearing in a blur. He didn't even have time to scream. Everyone instinctively back-pedaled.
The group of onlookers that had gathered in the street quickly herded themselves back across to the sidewalk on the other side of the road. The smaller group that had been near the dumpster practically leapt backward to the lip of the alleyway.
Deputy Quimby shouted in surprise. Christie screamed, and Bob joined her. To the passerby it might have sounded like the two were having a "damsel in distress " screaming contest. If they had been Deputy Maxwell, to his credit, would have won.
"Oh my Gaaad! Oh my Gaaad!" Boston George was shrieking over, and over as he back-pedaled into the street. His hysterics were abruptly cut short as he was suddenly struck by Henry McDuff's truck.
Marcus's son hadn't even noticed Boston George until the man was rolling up onto his hood. The farmer panicked as George smashed into his windshield. Simultaneously jerking the wheel hard to the left, while slamming on the breaks.
A split second later the rusty, red pickup smashed into a car parked in front of East Bay Salon. George went rolling off and over the hood of the other vehicle. Falling over the other side, and disappearing from McDuff's view almost as quickly as he'd appeared.
The open bed of the truck had been literally overflowing with freshly harvested apples. Upon impact, the fruit erupted out of the bed like a volcano. Creating a small apple tsunami that rolled across the street.
The screeching of tires forced Bob's horrified gaze from the the spot where Sheriff Copper had recently occupied, to the street behind him. But only for a moment. Once he realized that it was just a car accident he quickly snapped his gaze back down the alleyway. Pulling out his service revolver as he did so. Carnivorous dumpsters taking precedence over car accidents.
For a moment everybody just stood there in silence. Then there came a great rumble from within the Dumpster that to Bob, sounded like a giant burping. At the same time several pieces of trash shot up high into the air.
The crowd took another collective step backward as the assorted debris came raining down. Clattering, and clanking to the ground between themselves and the alleyway. Glass shattered. Empty metal cans went bouncing across the pavement.
The smaller group at the edge of the alley raised their hands over their heads protectively as garbage came falling to the ground all around them. A big aluminum can bounced off Bob's shoulder. It didn't really hurt, but it did make him jump.
The last thing to land was the Sheriff's hat. The brim had a jagged tear that looked like a shark had taken a bite out of it. The sight of the hat was apparently Quimby's breaking point.
For a second later the man let out a howl that was one part terror, and one part war cry. He raised the Pump Action (which Bob only now realized the Deputy had unslung from his back) and the weapon “BOOMED!” deafeningly. It happened so fast that Bob hadn't even had time to shout at him to stop, or he could hit the Sheriff.
The buckshot struck the side of the Dumpster. Sending out a shower of sparks. But as far as Bob could tell it failed to penetrate the thick metal.
Quimby continued moving forward. Pumping his shotgun and firing over, and over. Howling like a madman all the while.
**AUTHOR'S NOTE*\*
Hi! To anyone who might be familiar with my writing style, you'll already know that I don't know how to write a "proper" short story. It's a character flaw.;)
Anyway if you made it this far and would like to read the rest. I'm going to have the remainder posted in the comments section below. Labelled as (PT A, B, C, ect) Anyway. hope you enjoy the rest!
submitted by ChrisKoleszar to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]

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submitted by freespins1 to u/freespins1 [link] [comments]

My saga so far with a broken PVM 20M4E...

My saga so far with a broken PVM 20M4E...
Hey everyone, lurker coming here to post for the first time :)
Was browsing eBay and came across a listing for a 'for parts' PVM 20M4E at a decent price - the seller described it as 'turning on but not producing an image'. This is the 20" 800 TV scan line European model and was very desirable to me, so I took a gamble and decided to buy it and maybe get it repaired. I'm in the UK and it's far, far harder to come across Sony PVMs like this unless you get one of the fresh-out-the-NHS medical versions (with the MD code in the name and white facia).
Sony PVM 20M4E
What was interesting about it was that it came from Aardman Studios originally. A sticker on the back and an email from the studio confirms this set was used around the time that they produced animated classics like Wallace & Gromit and the Wrong Trousers/Grand Day Out so it had a bit of history to it as well which added to the value for me.
Cheese Gromit?
Anyway I picked it up and without turning it on, opening it up, or doing anything with it, I took it straight down to a fella in London - guy is an ex-broadcast technician - to have a good look at her. His workshop is like something out of a dream for this sub lol - CRTs of all shapes and kinds stacked on top of each other, spare parts and cables strewn everywhere, was kind of awesome tbh.
As expected she turned on, produced a bright green raster, but the menu was off the screen and couldn't be accessed in any way shape of form. Diagnosis? Someone had gone into the service menu, adjusted the Vertical Blanking settings bringing the menu off-screen, and then written those values to the ROM irreversibly. My guy said that this was a complete write-off and completely unrepairable unless I somehow got a new ROM chip or managed to load the correct standard values back into it to fix the over-blanking.
Disheartened, I took it back home and left it for a few days. Decided I would try and sell it again on eBay for parts or repairs as my predecessor had, but I couldn't help turning it on one last time and having a quick stab through the menus (armed with a very stark warning from my friend who said that many of these TVs die at the hands of people who don't know what they're changing in the menus :P).
To my surprise, it now produced a blue raster and VERY faintly in the bottom left hand corner of the screen I could read 'NTSC'. Don't remember this happening at the workshop or in the seller's description so I delved a bit further.
Looks like some retrace lines as well as the blue?
I managed to get the user menu up too! It was barely visible and not surprised we hadn't noticed it before, but just visible enough now for me to see where I was navigating when viewed from the top down. This is good I think, because that means the V Blanking issue we thought it was couldn't possibly be the problem with it now - if I can see the menu then at least I have got that to work with, as opposed to before. A spark of hope? Maybe it isn't a lost cause anymore.
I remember my repairman had pointed out to me the part in the monitor's manual where all of the default values for the service menu settings were laid out. He said unless those values are written back into the ROM she's a goner. So I got myself a PDF copy of the manual online and decided I would try and reset all those service menu settings back to their 'standard' values again and see if that made a difference.
Excerpt from the service manual - from left to right - first column is the feature numbeidentifier, second column is the category, third column the option being adjusted, fourth column the maximum setting, and final fifth column the standard value it should be set to (or around that, give or take what the original service man changed for this particular set).
I went through every one of the 120 service settings available and changed them to what the manual said. Some of the values varied very little and were close to the standard value, but some had clearly been changed to something way above expected, so I reset these ones to the value stated in the manual. The picture improved quite noticeably - looking much sharper and the menu was now clearly visible and no longer faint.
The user menu after resetting the service options to the default settings specified in the manual. Looks much better. Note the blue and pink colours - no green anywhere to be seen.
There was however one option that I simply could not change back to it's standard value - our old culprit V Blanking <60>! This adjusts the vertical blanking when in 60hz NTSC mode. It was set to maximum (255) - and if I lowered it to the manual-recommended 161, the menu would completely disappear off of the bottom edge of the screen, producing a completely blue screen with wobbling sides. Eek! I adjusted it back to the maximum again and made sure I wrote this value in so that the monitor wouldn't be left in limbo as had previously been feared.

From left to right you can see that 'Other' is the category, '255' is the max value, '91' is the numerical ID of the setting, and 'V BLANKING <60> is the name of the setting itself. V BLANKING <60> is set to 255 (maximum - as I found it) - any lowering of this value beyond about 200 would take the menu off the screen completely.
When the monitor is put into 50hz PAL, that blue wobbly screen already exists, so I suspect that someone has screwed with the V BLANKING <50> option and written it to the ROM. Because of this, if I try and access the menu in PAL I of course can't see what I'm doing, so adjusting it to try and bring the menu back would be futile. This is what he says happens to a lot of PVMs - people try and get the picture perfect, or they try to get rid of RGB lines, and they end up making huge adjustments and then writing them to the ROM permanently.
ANYWAY. This is where I am right now. I have made sure all the user settings, service settings, and knobs on the front are all standardised or zeroed. Only exception being the V BLANKING <60> which is set to max or else the menu will fall off the screen forever. She's in a lot better shape than she was before - now I have an accessible menu, I know that the settings are roughly right for most things, and that the monitor isn't a complete loss yet. The next thing is figuring out - what is the problem then?
Let me just say now that I know next to F-all about these machines, but here's my hunch: a capacitor or two have gone bad in the deflection or neck board, which is what led the original owner to adjust the V BLANKING so high in the first place. Since I'm in the UK he was probably on PAL, which is why the 50hz blanking is completely gone, whereas I can still access and configure in NTSC. I would take a look inside myself but I'm terrified of getting a shock and would rather a professional do that job.
I'm hoping that I can take it back to my guy now that the menu is accessible again, and maybe he can have a look inside, take some voltages, and check for any domed or leaking capacitors on the board. He's yet to get back to me on this - he may after all just tell me that it's not worth it. I've heard that broken neckboards (which can be bridged back again) are often the culprit in faulty Sony PVMs of this era too. As a bonus, here is what happens when I turn on the 'Blue Only' button in NTSC:
Screen goes bright green and then image is lost, red tally light at the top turns on. Too much voltage?
Finally, I can hear sound coming from the box perfectly when my N64 is plugged in with either composite or S-video. I have tested the N64 on a much smaller JVC monitor and both inputs work fine so it's definitely a fault with the telly (duh).
So... now that I've told you guys everything I know and the story so far, do any of you in your wisdom have any recommendations or ideas about which parts have gone or if there's anything I can try myself before I take it back to the shop again? I'm determined to get this thing fixed now after all the trouble I've gone through and would love to hear your thoughts :)
Thanks for reading
submitted by Teeb to crtgaming [link] [comments]

Found this rabbit hole, feel free to dive in with me...

So, found this picture on a thread.http://octagon.lhohq.info/
(Please keep that open for a while, inspect it if you want, but please give it about a minute of resting time)After that, I ended up searching up the name of the tab, and found this.
This was found on a Honda-Tech forum, at around comment #190
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submitted by Wrencher-xD to conspiracies [link] [comments]

MacBook Pro Keyboard Failures: Why Apples dust excuse is bullshit! [Teardown + Explanations]

Original source: https://www.reddit.com/apple/comments/bjtyaw/macbook_pro_keyboard_failures_why_apples_dust/

Today we will be tearing down a MacBook Pro keyboard to try and figure out some possible causes for all the failures that these keyboards get. Settle down, because this will be a bit of a long post. Hopefully you'll at least learn something from this.
My Background:
Because of this experience, I stand in an interesting position where I use to see all the shit Apple pulls in order to make 3rd party and DIY repair difficult, and now I sit in a position where I can see exactly how Apple deals with these issues and get a more-representative ideas of how the machine fails, how many fail, and exactly what the most common failures are.
History:
Apple originally released the Butterfly-style keyboard back in 2015 with the release of the 12" Macbook. Afterwards in 2016, this keyboard design was expanded to all Macbook Pros. The butterfly keyboard is different from a conventional rubber-dome keyboard that was used for 20+ years before that. It uses a metal dome that buckles under enough stress and makes contact between 2 metal terminals, and the keycap itself is held up with a butterfly-style henge rather than a traditional scissor hinge. Both are pictured further down.
This entire experiment began with a thought: How could something as simple as dust kill the keyboard switch?
My old 3rd party tech instincts say that this should not be possible, since there are billions of smartphones that use metal-dome style buttons that do not experience failures like this.
Apples official stance is that dust manages to somehow enter the keyboard and cause the issues. This can cause things like:
Their official documentation also states that you can "fix" the issue by using compressed air to blow out the keys. https://support.apple.com/en-ca/HT205662
When it comes to failures, there's 3 schools of thought about how the switches fail:
You may have also seen articles like https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/macbook-pro-keyboard-failure-rate-double-older-models/ that say that keyboard failure is in the low 10% range, but these should not be accepted at all since they do not take into account a number of things that critically invalidate these statistics as a whole:
From my experience as an Apple Technician, here are the most commonly reported problems at my store, in order of most to least common:
  1. No-input, particularly from all vowel keys, most commonly used consonants, spacebar, enter, and shift.
  2. Multi-input, particularly from all vowel keys, most commonly used consonants, spacebar, enter, and shift.
  3. Sticky/Crunchy/Stuck keys.
As for demographic, the most common folks we see with these issues are:
With that said, here are a few things that were floating around in my head:
  1. The first red flag about the dust hypothesis should be the failure types. Only 1/3 are related to physical objects actually preventing the keys from working. The other 2/3 are related to electricity, specifically whether the circuit in the switch itself is "closed" or "open". Open circuit means that the positive and negative terminals are not connected, which is the equivalent of a keyboard button that is not pressed. Closed circuit is the opposite.
  2. Second red flag is that human dust and household dust is classified as non-conductive. By itself, it does not have enough conductivity to meaningfully carry electricity, so the multi-input style failure should not be possible at all. The No-input failure can somewhat be explained with dust, since it can at as an insulator between 2 metal terminals, but keep reading and you'll see why this isn't the case.
  3. Third red flag should be specifically which keys fail. Spacebar, enter, shift, vowels, and the most common consonants are the most commonly pressed buttons whenever anyone types on their keyboard. Coincidentally, these buttons are the ones that are reported to fail the most.
  4. Finally, the last red flag is the demographic. All of these are people who type a lot on the machines. While this one is highly anecdotal, most of my customers fall within this demographic.

Enough rambling, on with the teardown!

https://i.imgur.com/5MRswJ6.jpg
In front of me, I have what's referred to as a Top Case assembly. Its essentially the metal frame, battery, keyboard and trackpad, all shipped and prepared as one piece for Apple techs to swap out. This particular one came from a 2017 model MacBook Pro 13", which rocks the 2nd generation of the Butterfly keyboard. This specific top case came from a machine that was "liquid damaged by my drunk roommate" so I have no issues tearing it apart for the greater good.
https://i.imgur.com/dnwTzDO.jpg
After removing the keycaps, here's what the keys actually look like underneath. Theres a few main parts here:
I included both larger and smaller sized keys just for demonstration purposes.
https://i.imgur.com/VoRDuhG.mp4
Butterfly Mechanism in action. This is actually a genius idea, since it eliminates individual moving parts in favour of a single Large one. Youtube creator Veritasium made a video talking about how flexible moving pieces have a lot more advantages over multi-piece hinges (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97t7Xj_iBv0).
https://i.imgur.com/8zsuDFg.mp4
Metal dome in action. This is what happens to the dome and butterfly mechanism when the key is pressed.
https://i.imgur.com/SROBJRq.jpg
Here's an example of something that can cause the "Sticky, Crunchy, or Stuck Keys" problem. Having crumbs, or sticky liquids, or other gunk will cause your keys to feel weird, or to stop working. These are genuinely caused by crap getting stuck between the mechanism. Enough of these can definitely jam a key. The 3rd generation keyboards help negate this problem by adding a rubber piece around the perimeter of the butterfly mechanism in order to reduce ingress of larger bits into the mechanism.
https://i.imgur.com/fauw47h.mp4
Example of how a key can get jammed. That single large piece prevents the mechanism and switch from pressing down al the way.
https://i.imgur.com/SogaaLg.mp4
Upon further inspection, we run into another blockade in the Dust theory, a see-through plastic barrier that encloses the entire switch.
The purpose of this barrier is both ingress-protection and to make sure the metal dome stays in its proper place, as you'll see later.
https://i.imgur.com/N2YxJhs.mp4
There is also this black tape-like material covering the top portion. After peeling it off, I discovered that this is where there is a little lip that overhangs the plastic housing. Most likely this is so that the domes can be replaced by the companies that refurbish all the old parts/devices apple sends to them.
https://i.imgur.com/1KDJK2n.mp4
It wasn't very hard to peel it off, but the plastic film was adhered to the plastic frame. Again, a huge dead-end forest theory since it physically cannot get in through this area.
https://i.imgur.com/GqsUHrz.jpg
A close-up of the film and the metal dome itself.
https://i.imgur.com/6zVVFuY.mp4
After examining the dome, I discovered that it is not at all soldered down into place, but rather it is free-floating within the plastic housing. Whether it makes a connection or not depends on how well its legs are contacting those gold pads in the corners.
https://i.imgur.com/LAM75Lz.jpg
Top side of the dome itself. The 4 outer legs are what make contact with the gold pads that are used to carry electrical signals. The dome itself appears to be Steel. It is also incredibly light, it's no wonder the film has to keep it down.
https://i.imgur.com/ZBi4jau.jpg
Bottom side. That brown part is not corrosion, that's just laser-cutting left-overs from when the dome is manufactured. I checked, all the metal dome have these marks.
https://i.imgur.com/JmWD4DD.jpg
Close-up of the plastic body around the metal dome. Here we see 6 gold pads. All 6 of those are for carrying electrical signals. There is also a large hole close to the oval-shaped gold pad. This is a ventilation hole.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Ventilation hole? Aha! That's where the dust gets in!
Hold your horses, we are far from done.
https://i.imgur.com/o70lCgg.jpg
The plastic body takes a bit of effort to remove, thanks to the fact that it uses 4 plastic legs that are riveted to the underside of the board.
https://i.imgur.com/tqLXY1c.jpg
Once removed, we see that the entire plastic body is surrounded by an adhesive film with no obvious gaps in its seal. This is another dead-end for the dust-ingress theory, since the entire plastic body is sealed around the perimeter. For the sake of thoroughness, I tested the conductivity of all the gold pads; the 4 outer pads along with the oval-shaped one in the middle are all connected and act as a single end of the terminal, while the round central pad is a second terminal. Once these 2 are bridged by a conductive object, like a metal dome, they will register as a keypress.
https://i.imgur.com/EHIkSsn.mp4
Just to give you an idea, You can see my trying to fit my sharpest set of tweezers under the plastic body. At most it budged a bit to the side, but that's because adhesive is fairly flexible. It takes a fair bit of pressure to puncture that plastic film on top.
https://i.imgur.com/WDD2C8b.jpg
Out of curiosity, I also tore apart the thinner small keys to see what the mechanism looked like. It's the same thing, just a smaller version.
https://i.imgur.com/tkg6RMH.jpg
I attempted to test the "Heat Failure" theory with my heat-gun set to 300C and pointed directly at the metal dome. This was a beyond-extreme-case test to see if the key would warp and possibly make contact.
Since MacBooks have god-awful cooling and will heat up to very hot temperatures in order to ensure that the machine stays as quiet as possible (which is a questionable method overall, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=947op8yKJRY talks about it more), some people suspected that the expansion and contraction of material can cause these keys to stop working.
After leaving it under heat for 2 minutes, it did not move a millimetre. This theory is very unlikely since there are keys that fail that do not sit in the same area as the Processor cooler (which can reach 70-100C pretty easily on these models).
At this point, I finished tearing up the entire top-side of the keyboard, so I turned my attention to the underside.
https://i.imgur.com/IZsaOvE.jpg
The keyboard is covered by a large, layered film material. Based on its thickness, it is likely meant to serve several purposes:
  1. As a heat insulator for the keyboard area.
  2. As an insulator for electrical signals between the Motherboard and the metal frame/keyboard itself.
  3. As a barrier to prevent dust and crumbs from interfering with operation.

https://i.imgur.com/iEdRuZs.jpg
After removing it, I found a small surprise. The keyboard itself sits on one giant PCB (Printed Circuit Board) and even has a fair bit of componentry on it! Quick google search showed that the 4 large chips on the right are for controlling the LED backlight, the pair of smaller chips in the middle are some sort of micro controllers (probably for the keyboard itself), and the components on the left are a mystery; I suspect they're the fan control/PWM (pulse width modulation) circuit for the fan, since the fan connects directly into the keyboard on all new models
https://i.imgur.com/6Pm0Uqd.jpg
Whats this? A dust filter? In my friendly christian teardown? Dust filter indeed. This is one of the finest filters I've seen in years! (pun intended).
After looking at it, it turns out that this dust filter is used for the breathing hole that was pictured in the Switch teardown further up the post.
Another dead-end for the Dust Theory, since the breather hole itself is covered by a very fine mesh.
https://i.imgur.com/hycxJcR.jpg
Here's the tip of a 0.5mm ballot pen for size reference. Most dust and all hairs will not be able to fit between this mesh, which only further solidifies the dismissal of the Dust Theory.
https://i.imgur.com/rVfLEkF.jpg
This is the closest shot of the mesh that I can get. This is with 10x Macro lens + iPhone camera at full zoom. Pen marks for size reference.
https://i.imgur.com/hjIboNB.mp4
Here's a short clip of the alignment of the dust filter with the breather hole along with visible movement from the underside of the metal dome and butterfly mechanism.
https://i.imgur.com/4rtoCUP.jpg
After looking closer at the protective keyboard insulator bit, I noticed that the entire mesh portion is surrounded by an adhesive-material, with absolutely 0 gaps around the hole. This basically puts a dead-end to the last possible entry point for dust, since this entire breather hole is not only sealed by adhesives on both top and bottom, but also a clear film on top side and an extremely fine mesh on the bottom of the switch.
At this point, there should be little reason to believe that dust can get in there, since every possible vector of attack is throughly sealed and/or protected.
Contrary to popular belief, Apple actually took a lot of effort sealing these switches from the elements.
https://i.imgur.com/9pmrI0A.jpg
I found some household dust and threw it on the mesh. As you can see, the mesh is not having trouble stopping these tiny bits.
https://i.imgur.com/j32hfyl.mp4
And finally, here is a demonstration of what happens when the key is assembled and pressed under the most extreme of dusty conditions. I threw literally an entire pile of dust on that breather hole.
Since these switches are pretty much sealed from all angles other than this breather hole, this is where all the air can freely move in the switch. Once assembled, the design of the switch actually very closely resembles that of a conventional speaker, which deals with air pressure inside its sealed chamber by allowing the air to freely enter and exit its port hole. Once the key is pressed, there is a higher air pressure created between the PCB and metal dome. Since this pressure needs to go somewhere to prevent rupturing the plastic film, all of it immediately gets pushed out of this single vent. Any dust that has accumulated on this opening will immediately be ejected from the mesh filter. Bear in mind that the laptop would technically be upside-down if you viewed it from this angle. In reality, the dust would actually fall to the underside of the Logic board, which sits in very close proximity to this breather hole.
Excuse the shit quality, I had to heavily compress and alter the vids quality to make it fit into an upload able GIF.
https://i.imgur.com/i6a1KWK.jpg
See that rivet? There are close to 70 of these holding the keyboard into place, along with a battery that's glued in on-top of the bottom portion. You want DIY repairs? Good luck with that. This is why Apple ships these as a "Top Case Assembly" rather than "Keyboard".At this point, there is no evidence left at all that dust is the cause of failures for this switch, especially not for the Double-Input issue since that entirely relies on how long and how many electrical signals are detected by the keyboard controller. There is absolutely no reason why dust or humidity can cause this, especially with no easy entry points and the general lack of electrical conductivity of both dust and water.
The No-Input issue can still somewhat be explained by a few other theories (Humidity, or oxidation of the underside of the dome), but both these theories still have a lot of holes (breather hole pushes humidity out when key is pressed, gold contacts do not oxidize on their own, corroded material will get slightly worn off when one and pads make repeated contact with dome, the amount of dust and water needed to cause these situations is fairly high, etc).

Why is this teardown so important***?***

It proves that Apple themselves have no idea how to deal with the issue and that dust was either just an excuse to satisfy their customer bases demand for an answer, or their engineers are genuinely nowhere near as smart as everyone thinks they are. I'm not sure which of these two is worse. Considering they've had 4 years to deal with it, i'm leaning more towards the latter.
The way Apple is handling this problem is actually far from good. People think that its nice of them to have a repair program for the issue, but this is actually just a shitty half-assed bandaid fix for the problem. As it stands, the current situation is as follows:
For any of the above, once your warranty or keyboard program coverage ends, it's $500 USD per failure to replace the entire top case. There is no "cheaper" aftermarket solution, the keyboards themselves are a nightmare to replace and the aftermarket parts are even more likely to fail. Replacing the part will not permanently fix the issue either since Apple only replaces it with identical parts, meaning they're bound to fail again. On top of that, all machines will be classified as vintage 5 years after their original release date. Once that happens, spare parts from apple go bye bye for good and you'll be left only with the cheaper aftermarket parts that are usually more prone to failure, or be stuck buying used parts which are also failure-prone.
Ownership beyond 3-4 years fo these models is pretty much a gamble at best, and ownership for 2018 models without AppleCare is even more of a gamble since there's no repair program support for them and there is 0 guarantee that these models will be added to that keyboard replacement program at all.
As for what the actual cause is, honestly I don't know. My suspicion is that the metal dome experiences metal fatigue and slowly begin to lose connection, or that that little U-shaped cutout in the centre of the dome weakens and starts to easily bounce when pressed, making contact 2+ times. I honestly cannot test this at home, my equipment is woefully inadequate to go that deep.
Macbook owners, please beware. Always have AppleCare, even if paying extra to cover a flaw that should be properly dealt with is morally questionable and a shitty thing to do. Right now is not a good time to be a Macbook owner or buyer, and please consider whether or not you wish to financially support a company that pulls stunts like these.

This law firm is setting up a class action if anybody wants to join: https://www.research.net/MacKeyboard
submitted by AzN1337c0d3r to hardware [link] [comments]

A thousand words wasn't enough? Here's five thousand.

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feedback feeding feeds feel feeling feelings feels fees feet fell fellow fellowship felt female females fence feof ferrari ferry festival festivals fetish fever few fewer ff fg fi fiber fibre fiction field fields fifteen fifth fifty fig fight fighter fighters fighting figure figured figures fiji file filed filename files filing fill filled filling film filme films filter filtering filters fin final finally finals finance finances financial financing find findarticles finder finding findings findlaw finds fine finest finger fingering fingers finish finished finishing finite finland finnish fioricet fire fired firefox fireplace fires firewall firewire firm firms firmware first fiscal fish fisher fisheries fishing fist fisting fit fitness fits fitted fitting five fix fixed fixes fixtures fl flag flags flame flash flashers flashing flat flavor fleece fleet flesh flex flexibility flexible flickr flight flights flip float floating flood floor flooring floors floppy floral florence florida 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geography geological geology geometry george georgia gerald german germany get gets getting gg ghana ghost ghz gi giant giants gibraltar gibson gif gift gifts gig gilbert girl girlfriend girls gis give given gives giving gl glad glance glasgow glass glasses glen glenn global globe glory glossary gloves glow glucose gm gmbh gmc gmt gnome gnu go goal goals goat god gods goes going gold golden golf gone gonna good goods google gordon gore gorgeous gospel gossip got gothic goto gotta gotten gourmet governance governing government governmental governments governor gp gpl gps gr grab grace grad grade grades gradually graduate graduated graduates graduation graham grain grammar grams grand grande granny grant granted grants graph graphic graphical graphics graphs gras grass grateful gratis gratuit grave gravity gray great greater greatest greatly greece greek green greene greenhouse greensboro greeting greetings greg gregory grenada grew grey grid griffin grill grip grocery groove gross 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headphones headquarters heads headset healing health healthcare healthy hear heard hearing hearings heart hearts heat heated heater heath heather heating heaven heavily heavy hebrew heel height heights held helen helena helicopter hell hello helmet help helped helpful helping helps hence henderson henry hentai hepatitis her herald herb herbal herbs here hereby herein heritage hero heroes herself hewlett hey hh hi hidden hide hierarchy high higher highest highland highlight highlighted highlights highly highs highway highways hiking hill hills hilton him himself hindu hint hints hip hire hired hiring his hispanic hist historic historical history hit hitachi hits hitting hiv hk hl ho hobbies hobby hockey hold holdem holder holders holding holdings holds hole holes holiday holidays holland hollow holly hollywood holmes holocaust holy home homeland homeless homepage homes hometown homework hon honda honduras honest honey hong honolulu honor honors hood hook hop hope hoped hopefully hopes 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[OC] List of fun/interesting Football Terminology in various Languages

Hi everyone, a while ago I asked for funny or interesting football words in your languages in the daily discussion thread. I promised I'd make a text post about it but kind of forgot, better late then never, eh?
Please contribute as well, I'm sure there are many more languages with hilarious or interesting football words, this is just a small list I gathered today.
If there are any mistakes, let me know. I'll be adding new entries as we go.
So without further ado:

German

Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Ampelkarte traffic light card second yellow -> red card
Alibipass alibi pass (sideways) pass without any intention, just to give the ball away to one of your team mates
Bananenflanke banana cross heavily curved cross
Bauernspitz farmer's tip toe poke
Beton anrühren to puddle the mortar to switch to a very defensive formation, to park the bus
Blutgrätsche blood slidingtackle a legbreaker of a tackle
Chancentod chances death cha cha cha
"Das Runde muss ins Eckige" "The round thing must go into the angular thing" Famous phrase coined by world cup winning coach Sepp Herberger
"Den Okocha machen" doing the Okocha doing the rainbow flick
Doppelpass double pass one-two pass
Elfmeterkiller penalty killer a keeper who saves many penalties
Fahrstuhlmannschaft elevator team yo-yo club always between top flight and second flight (West Brom, Nürnberg, etc.)
Fallrückzieher fall back puller bicycle kick
Fliegenfänger fly catcher keeper with bad shot judgement abilities
Fritz-Walter-Wetter Fritz-Walter-weather very rainy weather (almost British rain), Fritz Walter (1.FCK legend) preferred to play in the rain due to a Malaria infection in the war
Fußballgott football god self explanatory, examples would be Alex Meier (unironically) or Heiko Westermann (ironically)
Gedächtnisgrätsche memory tackle a tackle reminiscient of the good old days, when men were men
Hexenkessel witch cauldron a stadium with traditionally great atmosphere
Kerze candle a shot with an almost vertical trajectory
Kopfballungeheuer headball monster very strong player in the air, i.e. Jan Koller, Andy Caroll, etc.
Meisterschale master bowl name for the Bundesliga trophy
Punktelieferant points supplier a team that loses a lot, in particular to teams equal or worse to them
Rudelbildung (animal) herd forming multiple players from both teams swarming each other and the referee
Rumpelfüßler rubbish-footed player with very limited technical skills
Salatschüssel salad bowl name for the "Meisterschale": the Bundesliga trophy
Schönwetterfußballer nice weather footballer someone who only wants to play in perfect conditions, i.e. sunny, not too cold/hot, perfect pitch
Schwalbe swallow (bird) a dive
Schwalbenkönig swallow king the king of divers
Seitfallzieher side fall puller scissor kick
Sonntagsfußballer sunday footballer someone who only wants to play in perfect conditions, i.e. sunny, not too cold/hot, perfect pitch
Sonntagsschuss sunday shot long range goal from an unlikely position to score a goal from
Straßenfußballer street footballer a skillful player who grew up on the streets (Ronaldinho, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Mahrez, etc.)
Tunnel - nutmeg
Turniermannschaft tournament team a (national) team that traditionally perfoms better in the big tournaments as opposed to meaningless friendlies or less important qualifying matches, like Germany (disregard 2018)
Übersteiger overstepper step over
Wadenbeißer calves biter tenacious defenders/defensive midfielders especially if they have low body height, think Gennaro Gattuso as the prototype
thanks FakerPlaysSkarner, PapaSays, kall1nger

Italian

Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Biscotto biscuit Two teams that agree to end the game with a certain result that would benefit both and most likely damage some other team (Sweden and Denmark drew 2-2 at Euro 2004 to eliminate Italy)
Bomber word borrowed from English goalgetter
Calcio "I kick" - 1st person singular conjugation of "calciare" Italian word for football
Calciatori kickers footballers
Capocannoniere leading cannoneegunner top scorer in a competition
Catenaccio door bolt/chain -
Cucchiaio a spoon panenka penalty
Foca seal spectacular and skillfull player but in the end completely useless
Pallonetto diminutive of ball (pallone) a chip from open play
fare una papera to make/do a duck goalkeeper making a mistake
La Maledetta the Cursed special kind of free kick technique: think Pirlo, over the wall and dipping hard behind it
Mangiarsi/cacarsi un gol eating/shitting a goal failing to score an easy goal chance
Poker - scoring 4 goals in 1 game, referring to 4 of a kind
Panzer German for military tank nickname for strong German players as well as teams: Bayern, BVB, VfB (back in 1989 propably), also refers to the National team
Sciabolata saber cut a cross
Triangolo triangle one-two pass
Tridente trident a line-up with 3 attacking players
Tunnel - nutmeg
thanks to Coldh

French

Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Aile de pigeon pidgeon's wing backheel volley
avoir les pieds carrés to have square feet no technique, not being good at all with the ball
Biscotte rusk yellow card
bouffer la feulle to eat the sheet when a striker misses several chances
casser les reins to break the kidneys when a player is played like a fiddle
Caviar - a fantastic assist
Chèvre a goat A very bad player
Coup du Sombrero rainbow kick -
Coupeur de citron lemon cutter bench warmer
dévisser to unscrew to badly miss a shot
enrhumer un adversaire to give an opponent a cold dribble past an opponent
faire une Arconada named after Luis Arconada's (GK for Spain) mistake against Platini in Euro 1984 goalkeeping blunder
Mine landmine very power shot
nettoyer les toiles d'araignée to clean the cobwebs to shoot in the top corner
petit pont little bridge nutmeg
prendre une valise to take a suitcase to be largely beaten
Renard des surfaces fox of the penalty area a fox in the box
tricoter to knit to dribble pointlessly
vendanger to harvest to miss a goal opportunity
Ventre mou flabby/chubby belly mid-table
Verrou door bolt/chain interestingly enough the predecessor to Italy's catenaccio
Thanks giyomu, TeKaeS, Hippemann, PierreMichelPaulette

Spanish

Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Arquero Paraguay/Argentina* Archer goalkeeper.
Calesitero Paraguay roundabout a player who often dribble succesfully a lot but with a bad end product
Cancerbero Paraguay Cerberus goalkeeper
Caño a pipe nutmeg
Cantada sung song blatant goalkeeping mistake
Cantera Paraguay quarry youth ranks
Cara Sucia Paraguay dirty face a very young player
Chilena female demonym of chile bicycle kick
colgarse del travesaño to hang (oneself) from the crossbar to park the bus
Crack ?* a very good player
hacer la cama to make the bed Used when somebody is conspiring against somebody else, for example when players conspire to turn on the manager to get him sacked
inclinar la cancha Argentina to tilt the pitch may be used when a referee gives too many favourable calls to a particular team. Also used when a team goes all out attack
Manos de humo Argentina hands of smoke a very poor goalkeeper, who usually fumbles the ball
Pecho Frío Paraguay cold chest an usually talented player who doesn't seem to care about the result
Pichichi - Name of former Athletic goalscorer Pichichi which now has become the term to refer to a top-scorer, even outside the Spanish league
Piscinero pool boy diver
Rabona tail kick Torres doing it
Vaca sagrada sacred cow popular phrase coined by Cruyff: important players or players with a lot of experience
*"Arquero" is the main term for goalkeeper here (Argentina/Uruguay) as well. Even though that word means archer, in this case it comes from the fact that we actually call the goal "arco" instead of "portería/puerta". So yes, arco means both goal and bow. Therefore arquero stands both for goalkeeper and archer
  • anden4
thanks to cilinderman, nocomet, Beatlepy93, anden4
?*What does the word "crack" literally mean? Does it refer in any way to cocaine or did it come from somewhere else etymologically?

Polish

Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Grać z klepki to play on/from the stave exchanging fast first touch passes (tiki taka)
Szczupak pike (the fish) diving header
Wolny elektron Free electron free role player
Kosa, kosić Scythe, to scythe hard slide tackle
Laga long, hard stick attacking with long balls only (Pulisball)
Plecy, plecy rosną Back, the back is growing (back as anatomical part of human) warning when the player with the ball is approached from the back by opponent
Piątek friday Sheva reincarnated
Sito a sieve nutmeg

Austrian German

Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Außenpracker exterior carpet beater fullback
Dribblanski a technical player with good dribbling skills that lacks end product, think Adama Traore
Eiergoalie egg goalkeeper error prone keeper
Fersler comes from Ferse (heel) back heel goal/pass
Gaberln comes from Gabel (fork) doing keepie uppies
Jud Jew toe poke
Wadlbeißer calves biter tenacious defenders/defensive midfielders especially if they have low body height, think Gennaro Gattuso as the prototype
thanks odrik

Dutch

thanks to MrCrashdummy
Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Brilstand Glasses score 0-0 (looks like glasses)
Chocoladebeen chocolate leg Weak foot
Zondagsschot Sunday shot A shot that would normally be a big miss but ends up in the goal some how
Postbodevoetbal Postman football Players who don't pass over longer distances but deliver the ball to their teammates
Scorebordjournalistiek Scoreboard journalism Analysing a match on just the result, even though losing doesn't mean playing bad and vice versa
Patatgeneratie French fries generation Spoilt players (usually talking about a certain group of players from the 80ies)
In de winkelhaak In the machinst square In the topcorner

Icelandic

Thanks to Glenn55whelan
Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Að hreinsa to clean to clear the ball
Að klobba to crotch someone to nutmeg someone
Að sóla to sun someone to dribble past someone
Að strauja to iron someone to tackle someone very roughly
Bakfallsspyrna backfalling kick bicycle kick
Dauðafæri death chance big chance to score
Hjólhestaspyrna wheel horse kick (wheel horse is an old word for bicycle in Icelandic) bicycle kick
Markamaskína goal machine good goalscorer
Markahrókur goal rook good goalscorer
Móri ghost nickname for José Mourinho
Rangstaða wrong position offside
Skógarhlaup forest run when a goalkeeper comes way too far out of his goal to challenge for a ball or claim a cross
Sammi Sopi Sammy sip nickname for Big Sam
Sparksérfræðingur / sparkspekingur kick specialist / kick wise man pundit
Stelpurnar okkar our girls nickname for the Female National team
Strákarnir okkar our boys nickname for the National team
The Sammi/Samminn from samskeyti (conjoint) the place where the crossbar and the post meet

Portuguese (Brazil)

Thanks to rdfporcazzo, ElinorDashwood86
Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Caneta pen nutmeg
Carretilha reel Rainbow Flick
Chapéu hat to lob someone
Chinelinho little sandals (flip flops) means a player who is always injured (this one might have a connotation that the player is faking injuries)
Drible da vaca Cow's dribble to kick the ball in one direction, go for the other one and get the ball back with the defender between you and the ball
Elástico elastic Elastico
Lambreta scooter Rainbow Flick
Lençol sheet to lob someone
Mão de alface lettuce hands insult to a bad goalkeeper
Meia-lua Half moon same as drible da vaca
Rolinho little roll nutmeg

Romanian

thanks RazvanDH
Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
A sta cu fundul în poarta sitting with the ass in goal parking the bus
A șutat cu piciorul cu care se urcă in tramvai took a shot with the leg he uses to go on the tram a bad shot with the weaker foot, implying that the weak foot is so useless it's used only for mundane activities
Braziliană the Brazilian rainbow flick
Chifla bun/bap miss the ball while trying to kick it
Foarfecă scissors overhead kick
Gol turcesc Turkish goal a miss where the ball hits the side of the net, giving the impression it went in
Urechi ears nutmeg

Cantonese

thanks to schrodingers_razors, JustInsane426
Word/Phrase ( semi-literal translation meaning
通坑渠 (tong hang kui) clearing the drain nutmeg
炒芥蘭 (tsao gai lan) cooking kale collision of shins
斬波 (tsam bor) chopping ball a long pass or a cross
汽車維修員 car repairer player who always fouls, this comes from stephen chow’s kung fu soccer
收山腳 (shou shan geuk) - career ending tackle
磨薑 (mor geung) grinding ginger grinding your leg against the ground when u fall
疊瓦 (dip nga) overlapping tiles overlapping run by a fullback
執雞 (tsup gai) picking chicken player scoring on easy goal/tap-in, for example due to goalie error or defender making a poor clearance
莫氣 (mok hei) no gas left player is low on stamina
單蹄馬 (dan tai ma) horse with only one hoof player who is not ambidextrous and relies too much on his strong foot, ie Robben
單刀 (dan dou) single knife player is one on one with the goalie
炒飛機 (tsao fei gei) shooting airplanes player making a shot that flyes into row z
曬靴 (sai hur) to show one’s soles going studs up in tackles
底線傳底 (dai seen cheun dai) to pass to the touchline at the touchline absolute fail of a cross that went out of bounds
烏龍 (oolong) - to score an own goal
牛奶仔 (ngau lai zai) milk boy player who is playing safe and doesn’t take risks
妹下妹下 (mui ha mui ha) to nibble player is not paying full effort in a match
扭波 (lau ball) to twist and turn with a ball dribbling
爆人 (bao yen) to explode past ppl use pure speed to dribble past someone, ie bale vs maicon/ bale vs bartra
箍波 (cool ball) to be entangled with the ball to be good at at retaining possession; being press resistant
衛生波 (wai seng ball) hygienic football playing a match where players are not aggressive towards each other
痾蛋 (or dan) to lay an egg goalkeeper failing to control the ball, thus the ball slips from his hands
大細龍 (dai sai long) big and small nets ball goes right through between the legs of a defender into the net
打仔格 (dai tsai gak) aggressive personality player such as Gattuso, Keane, etc
雪糕筒 (seud gow tong) traffic cone defender who gets dribbled past every time
放題 (fong tai) all you can eat buffet same meaning as the one above
貼身膏藥(tip sun go yeuk) ailment that sticks firmly on the skin man marking opposition player
神龍(son long) godly dragon goalkeeper that makes amazing saves, for example de gea
叉燒 (tsa siu) bbq pork easy chance to score
跑狗 (pau gau) running dog derogative description for a player who is running his socks off but isn’t actually contributing much in attack
手榴彈 (sau lau dan) hand grenade Rory Delap-esque throw in
七旋斬 (tsut suen zam) ball that spins seven times Beckham’s trademark curved free kick
浪射 (long se) wave shoot shooting from unlikely positions or shooting excessively
柱躉 (tseu dung) pillar big man up front
海鮮波 (hoi seen bor) seafood soccer the team’s performance is as unstable as fluctuating seafood price in a wet market, usually used to describe Liverpool a few years back (利記海鮮)
鐵桶陣 (tit tung zhun) iron bucket formation park the bus
魚生粥 (yu sang zhuk) fish congee match that is won by fine margins, for example a 1-0
互交白卷( wu gau bak guen) handing each other empty papers nil nil draw
七個一皮 7-1 losing in a humilating manner - NOT related to Germany 7-1 win against Brazil, see details below*
水銀瀉地 (sui ngun sei dei) water and silver is poured all over the ground team is playing attractive attacking football
波係圓嘅 (ball hai yuen ge) the ball is round you never who wins or who loses until the end
黑哨 (huk sau) black whistle unfair refereeing
十二碼 a 12 yard penalty
a gate full-back
倒掛 hanging upside-down - overhead kick, sometimes added with 金鈎 (golden hook)
有鬼! There's a ghost! Man on!
踩波車 stepping/riding on the ball vehicle when a player miss kicks the ball, slips on the ball and falls on his ass (rare one, probably more common in amateur football)
食波餅 eat a ball cake/pie when player gets smacked hard in the face by the ball, as if taking a massive pie to the face
收山腳 (shou shan geuk) retiring tackle career ending tackle
派牌 (pai pai) distributing cards midfielder that springs passes on the the pitch, like David Silva, Fabregas, Pirlo, Xabi Alonso, etc
*so this seven to one saying comes from gambling; so 一皮means one cent in Cantonese, and one dollar is equal to ten cents, so that gambler lose three cents; three has the same sound (sam) as 衫 (means clothes in cantonese), so the hidden meaning is that the gambler has lost so much that he has to use his clothes to exchange for cash to pay up
  • schrodingers_razors

Russian

Thanks to comrade fotorobot
Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
горчичник mustard plaster yellow card
играть на втором этаже to play on the second floor to play the ball with the head
бить через себя to strike through oneself bicycle kick
зацепить мяч hook onto the ball to control a received pass
[игра] в стенку [play] to the wall a "1-2 pass"
сухарь dry bisquit game without a goal
бомбардир bombardier attacker / goalscorer
снайпер sniper someone good at long distance shots
навес a canopy a lob into the box
пас в больницу a pass into the hospital pass into a strongly defended area (think of a lob towards an area defended by Bonucci/Chiellini at the last minute of a game)
нарушение правил breaking of the rules foul
одиннацатьметровый the eleven meter penalty shot

Swedish

Thanks to elburrito1
Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Bollkalle Ball Kalle(nickname for Karl/Carl) Ballboy
Brassespark Brazilian kick bicycle kick
Brassering Brazilian ring standing in a circle trying to keep the ball in the air
Danska/Norska krysset The Danish/Norwegian cross bottom corner. Top corner is called krysset (the cross) so the danish or norwegian cross is just a worse version of the cross
Dansken the Danish a "tactic" where you kick it back at kickoff and send a long ball directly up field where everyone has ran. So all wingers and strikers just rush forward and a midfielder sends a long ball on chance. Popular with youth teams, "they are doing the danish"
Dansk skalle Danish skull to headbutt someone, Zidane gave Materazzi a danish skull
Filma to film sth. diving or embellishment of the referee
Korpen The Raven More or less sunday league, recreational football. I play football with my mates in The Raven
Mjölka/Maska to Milk/To worm to waste time
Ronaldinhofinten the Ronaldinho trick Elastico
Tåpaj Toe Pie Toe poke
Tunnel - nutmeg
TV-räddning TV save hollywood save by the keeper, making it look more dramatic than necessary

Various

Word/Phrase semi-literal translation meaning
Cantonese - 摘雞 to pick chicken easy tap in goal
Japanese - メンバーチェンジ (Menbaa Chenji) member change substitution
Japanese - スパイク spikes football boots
Greek - Παλτό (palto) coat a shit footballer, usually one with high expectations he hasn't met
Serbian - Suknjica skirt (for women) nutmeg
Serbian - Golčina - Banger of a goal
Malay - Kaki bangku bench legs/chair legs bad footballer
Bonus:
Thanks to MrCrashdummy once again

Cruyffisms

Word/Phrase meaning
Elk nadeel heb z'n voordeel Every disadvantage has it's advantage
Als je niet kunt winnen, moet je zorgen dat je niet verliest If you can't win you have to make sure you don't lose
Je moet schieten, anders kun je niet scoren You have to shoot, otherwise you can't score
Als wij de bal hebben kunnen hun (sic) niet scoren If we have the ball, they can't score
Voetbal is simpel, maar simpel voetballen blijkt vaak het moeilijkste wat er is. Football is simple, but simple football often proves to be the hardest thing there is
Voetbal is simpel: je bent op tijd of je bent te laat. Als je te laat bent moet je eerder vertrekken. Football is simple, you're on time or you're too late. If you're too late you have to leave earlier
Als Italianen één kans krijgen, maken ze er twee If Italians get one chance, they'll score twice
Italianen kunnen niet van je winnen, maar je kan wel van ze verliezen Italians can't beat you, but you can lose to them
Kijk, de bal is een essentieel onderdeel van het spel You see, the ball is an essential part of the game
Thanks to Jujugg (French), HippoBigga (Spanish), Vacuumflask (Austrian), spikeeleslie515 (Cantonese), vul6, mojekosio (Polish) and two redditors whose accounts have been deleted since then.
Also thanks to Glenn55whelan, if you could provide the Icelandic words for these football words as well I will incorporate them into their own section.
Thanks to Ravenblood21 for Greek, Kyuashu for Serbian, amanfikry for Malay
I'm sorry it took so long, dieyoubastards.
So, now it's your turn. These are only very few of such words, I'd like to see many more languages with their own quirky football terminology.
Of course, if there are some lesser known English words, comment them as well.
Something along the lines of twatter meaning "laces shot pelting someone right in the face" (propably non-existent), you surely have many more like these to contribute.
submitted by CarloPlaya to soccer [link] [comments]

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